MIDWEST EYE-BANKS PRESENTS - A Tribute to Donors & Thier Families

A Collection of Inspirations &
Thoughts for Comfort

Throughout the years the Eye-Bank has gathered poems and inspirations that may offer comfort and help to the families who have given the Gift of Sight. We offer these to you in hopes that you will find them beneficial. In addition we encourage you to share items that have helped you, your family and friends by contacting us at resources@donortribute.org.

The Legacy by John Wayne Schlatter
Giving by Hellen Keller
We Remember Them from The Gates of Repentance
Lamps on the Path by Amy Hillyard Jensen
Bill of Rights of the Bereaved by June Cerza Kolf


The Legacy

When I die, give what is left to my children. If you need to cry, cry for your brothers walking beside you. Put your arms around anyone and give them what you need to give me. I want to leave you with something better than words or sounds. Look for me in the people I have known and loved.	And if you cannot live without me, then let me live on in your eyes, your mind and your acts of kindness. You can love me most by letting hands touch hands and letting go of children that need to be free. Love does not die, people do. So that when all that is left of me is love . . . Give me away . . . John Wayne Schlatter

Top

Giving

The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness;
An opponent, tolerance;
A friend, your heart;
Your child, a good example;
Yourself, respect;
All men, charity;
Keep your face in the sunshine
and you cannot see the shadows.

Hellen Keller

Photo courtesy of the American Foundation for the Blind, Hellen Keller Archives

Top

We Remember Them

In the rising of the sun
And in its going down,
We remember them.

In the blowing of the wind
And in the chill of winter,
We remember them.

In the opening of the buds
And in the rebirth of spring,
We remember them.

In the rustling of the leaves
And in the beauty of the autumn,
We remember them.

In the beginning of the year
And when it ends,
We remember them.

When we are weary
And in need of strength,
We remember them.

When we are lost and sick at heart,
We remember them.

When we have joys we yearn to share,
We remember them.

So long as we live,
They too shall live,
For they are now a part of us,
As we remember them.

From Gates of Repentance,
The New Union Prayer Book
for the Days of Awe, C.C.A.R.

Top

Lamps on the Path

Accept the grief. Roll with the tides of it. Do not try to be brave. Take time to cry.
Talk about your loss. Share your grief within the family. Do not try to protect them by silence. Also find a friend to talk to. Talk often. If the friend tells you to "snap out of it," find another friend.
Deal with guilt, real of imagined. You did the best you could at the time. If you made mistakes, accept the fact that you, like everyone else, are not perfect. Only hindsight is 20-20. If you continue to blame yourself, consider professional or religious counseling. If you believe in God, a pastor can help you believe also in God's forgiveness.
Keep Busy. Do work that has a purpose. Use your mind.
Eat well. Grief stresses the body. You need good nourishment now more than ever, so get back to a good diet soon. Vitamin and mineral supplements may help.
Exercise regularly. Exercise lightens the load through biochemical changes. It also helps you to sleep better. Return to an old program or start a new one. An hour-long walk everyday is ideal for many people.
Nurture yourself. Each day try to so something good for yourself. Think of what you might do for someone else if they were in your shoes and then do that favor for yourself.
Join a group of others who are sorrowing. Your old circle of friends may change. Even if it does not, you will need new friends who have been through your experience.
Associate with old friends also. Some will be uneasy, but they will get over it. If and when you can, talk and act naturally, without avoiding the subject of your loss.
Postpone major decisions. Wait before deciding whether or not to sell your house or to change jobs.
Record your thoughts in a journal. Writing helps you get your feelings out. It also shows your progress.
Turn Grief into creative energy. Find a way to help others-sharing someone else's load will lighten your own. Write something as a tribute to your loved one.
Take advantage of a religious affiliation. If you have been inactive, this might be the time to become involved again. For some people, grief opens the door to faith. After a time, you might not be as mad at God as you once were.
Get professional help if needed. Do not allow crippling grief to continue. There comes a time to stop crying and live again. Sometimes just a few sessions with a trained counselor will help a lot.

No matter how deep your sorrow, you are not alone. Others have been there and will help share your load if you will let them.

An excerpt from a booklet entitled Healing Grief, third edition by Amy Hillyard Jensen

Top

Bill of Rights for the Bereaved

Do not make me do anything I do not wish to do
Let me cry
Allow me to talk about the deceased
Do not force me to make quick decisions
Let me act strangely sometimes
Let me see that you are grieving, too
When I am angry, do not discount it
Do not speak to me in platitudes
Listen to me, please!
Forgive me my trespasses, my rudeness and my thoughtlessness

Taken from the book How Can I Help? Reaching out to Someone Who is Grieving by June Cerza Kolf.

Additional Resources

Literature Related to Loss
and Coping

Internet Resources Related
to Bereavement

A Collection of Inspirations and Thoughts for Comfort

Top

Site Design by Gammon Group